Good Habits from the Start

If you have ever taken a basic psychology course or share with me a love for personal development, you probably understand the term “conditioning.”  Conditioning is what happens to us when we make the assumption based on past experiences, that A+B will have an outcome of C.  For example, if every time you sold a lap dance, you got a lollipop along with your $20-40, you would come to expect the lollipop.  Up close, it’s easy to see the simple connections we make, “If I smile on stage and make eye contact, I will make more money on stage.”  If you know this works, it’s because you’ve tested it and you know it to be true.

If you take some time to reflect on your past, I’m sure you can see the patterns that have been set in your life based on your conditioning in all arenas.  A person who grew up with base in the family is more likely to have issues in relationship; either dating abusive people, become abusive themselves, or both.  If a person had a lot of experiences traveling that made them feel free and weightless and amazing, they probably already have their next trip planned and are working on a way to achieve their travel goal.  While I think that it is imperative that we explore our pasts to figure out what we are going to make of life today,  what this post is really about is how what you do today greatly impacts the person you will be tomorrow.

By becoming a stripper you made a big decision.  We call it the adult entertainment industry, but it's not just because we show our boobies, but because the stuff you see around here really is some heavy, grown up shit sometimes!  That said, if you want to be an adult in an adult industry, it is really important that you take responsibility for how you are currently conditioning your future self; it's the grown up thing to do, be self aware enough to recognize that every single day as you venture into this new world, you are building habits, and it's your choice which ones you are going to build for yourself.  If you have never seen a dancer sleeping in her car or living in hotel rooms because they have nowhere to go, you know how real it is.  If you have ever seen a survivor of sexual assault forced to engage in sex work because she doesn't have any money saved or has a habit or family to support, you know how real it is.  It is not the strip club that traps people, it was their own minds, and often drug, alcohol, or relationship dependency.  I hope you guys like bullet points as much as I do.  Here are some things you can do to keep your mind healthy and keep you from brainwashing yourself into believing that this is all you will ever be:

  • Keep your goal list close.  It is important to remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing.
  • Consistently put positive things into your brain.  Always have a project, something that you are reading, learning, working on, improving.  The strip club can be pretty negative and can provide you with a lot of idle resting time.  Get your rest, but also make sure you take time to instill new habits consciously.
  • Hang pictures in your living room of things you really want in life.  Feng Shui suggests that since this is the room you spend the most time in, you will be burning the desires into your subconscious.
  • Be aware of and respect your subconscious mind.  When you disassociate or numb out like most of us do at the club, there is still some aspect of what is actually happening that is creeping in.  Be aware of it, and find outlets to clear out this negativity.  Running, yoga, writing, meditation, being in nature, long periods of solitude, therapy, and reading are some of mine, but maybe you love painting and have always wanted to learn French.  Now is a great time to check yourself.  (Scrolling and shopping don't count as therapy.)
  • Pay attention to the people you are surrounding yourself with.  Do not become friends with people who you do not respect.  If your family is toxic, either keep them at a distance or start doing some ground work to improve the relationship, dump your boyfriend if he is making you insane.
  • We share a collective consciousness that we cannot see or feel.  Take responsibility for your share.  Add only positivity to our shared think-space.
  • Make a ritual of something you really love.  It can be anything that makes you smile, just commit to doing it once a day.