Fetish & Overexposure in the Sex Industry
Photos: Quinn Cornchip
Words: Chase Kelly
If I had all the answers, I would give them to you, but this site is about more than just how to be a stripper. The reason I started SurvivetheClub was not to teach you how to make money, although I am happy to do that. What I really wanted to tell you about is how to stay sane in such an insane world. The long and short of it is, you kind of can’t–the more of an explorer you are, the more attraction you have to the bizarre, the longer you stay in the industry, and the more money hungry you are, the higher your exposure is going to be to really unsavory things.
The sex world and kink world are strange. Some of you love it and live for it, but as far as strippers go, I’ve met more that are baffled as to why someone would want to buy their socks than those who understand it and know exactly how to work a fetish customer. In time, most of us figure it out whether we want to “get it” or not.
Consider this post a warning. You don’t need to “get it” if you don’t want to, but that needs to be a boundary that you set on your own. Is sex dirty? Not really, but sometimes people’s kinks can be scary, disgusting, demeaning to women, violent, or just plain weird. Sometimes they are just too grown up for you. I think the girls who get this the worst are the very young ones, and they are the girls who should avoid it the most. You should still have access to “normal sex fantasy” in your brain, and too much bizarre will wipe that out. Additionally, some of us are victims of sexual abuse, some of us aren’t. You need to respect your past and realize that some stuff CAN get in your head and mess with you. Consider where you are in your head before you decide to take on “weird” customers.
The strip club is just one of the places that people come to live out their fantasies. Some people would argue that the hard core kinksters know where to go to explore their fantasies and it’s not a strip club, and they’d be right, but let’s talk about how dangerous a fetishist can be WITHOUT training, or the specific creeps who only like girls who don’t know what’s going on. They target strip clubs, and they go for the youngest and most scared looking girl they can find, and they expose her to their weird kinks because they are into how “green” she is. When I was 18, this was the majority of my customer base and I had NO CLUE what I was doing/how much I should be charging to dump food down my customer’s pants or burn his tongue with my cigarette. I also had no idea what an impact all of this stuff would have on my personal life down the road.
I had so much experience with fetish was when I was young, and some of it was awful and terrifying. I was stalked, tricked, lured into places I shouldn’t have gone, attacked, manipulated, and slightly damaged. Later, I set out to understand this lifestyle and take my power back. I started taking private BDSM clients as a way to assert myself and make extra cash, and I wish I hadn’t ever felt that I needed to. Hindsight being 20/20, fetish is really meant for the people who choose it, it isn’t meant to be chosen for you. Customers don’t care about your psyche–they will expose you to whatever weird shit lives in their brains. Some of them are crazy and don’t care about your physical well being either. Some of them are loose cannons, and honestly if you don’t know how to deal with them, they can get in your brain and mess with you, or they can physically harm you. If you don’t know how to handle these customers and want to learn, I will help you, but if you DON’T want to learn, and don’t want to think about this stuff, that is your right and you should keep your head clear of all of it by avoiding it.
I feel like most fresh strippers never consider what their exposure will be like, they think it’s just normal guys who are bored of their wives, but please be aware that there is A LOT of other stuff happening in the sex industry, things that you will eventually be exposed to. Some of you will welcome that, and that is, of course your prerogative. Those of you who value your innocence, who don’t want to become jaded, who don’t want to “know to much” or be spoiled with too much candy, those of you who want to live a “normal” life outside of the sex industry in the future, those of you with small children or plans to have them, may want to rethink your role in this industry or what you allow yourself to be exposed to. You are an independent contractor. Don’t EVER think you need to spend time with a guy just to get his money. If he freaks you out, walk away, there is more money. I don’t care how bad you need that $200–don’t infect your subconscious with things you cannot handle! Sometimes it’s best to leave the freaks to the pros, and realize that there is NO SHAME in not being a pro in this industry (there is no shame in being one, either!)