Tips for a Smooth, Splotchless Butt

Ass pimples are just kind of par for the course for dancers.  The stage is dirty, the chairs are dirty, and men who never wash their jeans are dirty.  The friction of rubbing our butts on laps causes all kinds of little abrasions in the skin, which makes it super easy for bacteria to get in there and fester.  You can’t very well work with huge pimples on your ass, and although some people do it, I don’t recommend it.  Besides looking unappealing, zits are technically already infected, so exposing them to an environment that likely has MRSA on every surface.  Instead, it is best to avoid getting butt pimples in the first place.

Every hour I go back into the dressing room for 5 minutes (if I can) to freshen up, wipe down, and drop my money off in my locker.  The very first thing I do is wipe down my butt and my thighs with witch hazel, $2.00 at the convenience store, and one of the most integral parts of your stripper kit.  The astringent dries up any active acne, and it is antibacterial, so it cleans up anything sitting on the top of the skin.

I also shower as SOON as I get home.  I use yellow liquid dial soap on my butt, chest, and legs to kill bacteria.  Do not sleep in your bed with the strip club still on you.  Bathe, it’s important.  In the day, you can wash your butt with any cheap salicylic (acne) face wash or plain soap, but avoid oils and things with fragrance.   I like salicylic wash because it is gentler than a washcloth or loofah as far as exfoliating goes, and you can apply with your fingers so you aren't rubbing any cloth that has had the opportunity to gather bacteria on your bum.  You can just apply it with your fingers and let it sit for 45 seconds to a few minutes.  You can gently rub it if it feels right.  

If you already have a butt break out, grab some diaper rash cream and slather it on before bed.  When you wake up you will be super smooth!