Explosions in his pants

Oh, the horror. The dread. The sheer disgust you experience the first time a customer climaxes during your dance. If you haven’t had the pleasure yet, it’s probably best that you prepare yourself now. Unless you work in a no contact club, the chances of this happening are pretty good. Lots of these guys haven’t been laid in a very long time, and you are so beautiful and lovely with your nipples pointing skyward and that perfect lil booty! As an adult entertainer, this is just one more of the adult dilemmas you will be faced with. But what are you supposed to do?

The first step would be to avoid having this happen in the first place. Some girls grind in lap dances, some don’t. That is totally your prerogative and neither is better than the other, but if you are a grinder, I highly recommend taking grind breaks. Only grind in the same position for a few seconds, 10-20 tops. I think it’s a good idea to have a few “pose” moves that you do during your dance which require little to no movement, and maybe little to no contact as well to let him wind down before you transition into the next move.

Secondly, you should use your judgement. I am going to assume that most strippers have had at least *some* sexual experience and can tell when a guy is really turned on. Some clues that your Joe is about to blow include: a change in breathing, seemingly voluntary hip thrusting (may actually be involuntary, like dogs when they hump. ugh), and his penis becoming much more erect. The chances are that your guy will have a boner for at least some of the dance, but if it is so rock hard that it is bruising your ass cheek, you might want to ease up a little.

If you can tell the guy is aroused enough that he might orgasm, that’s great. Hold him there as long as you can. When a guy is on the edge, he literally can’t say no. Your goal is not to make him cum in his pants, it’s to make him *almost* cum in his pants.

If you did everything you could to avoid the explosion, but the sad wet spot appeared anyway, you need to go ahead and do some damage control. Avoid the instinct to freak out. Don’t tell the man that he is disgusting, even if he is! Why on earth would you do that??? An orgasm isn’t disgusting, and if someone ever condemned you for having one, you would feel either angry or traumatized, depending on your feelings for the person pointing the angry finger at you. If you stayed within your comfortable boundaries, you should be proud to be able to bring a man to orgasm without bending them! Take this as a compliment, no matter how grossed out you are. It’s totally ok to laugh or act uncomfortable, but it is NOT ok to embarrass this man and make him feel like a dirty monster. You signed up for this job, if you don’t like that men have biological reactions to your beautiful body, then maybe you should try telemarketing. It also pays quite well!

I know, you are grossed out. Girl, so am I, but I am an adult. I can handle all situations gracefully (although I have been known to use antics to get my way if I know it will work!) That’s what makes me an entertainer. You have two choices, you can act uncomfortable, or you can act proud. You need to decide what works best with your personality and what will work best on that particular customer, but make sure you handle it without putting him on blast (at least to other customers…it’s totally expected that you warn the other girls and try not to slut shame the girl who doesn’t care and dances for him anyway.)
I usually just laugh. I say, “Wow! I didn’t really expect that, but who could blame a guy!?” and I make sure I tell him that his little thrill just cost him extra. If you’re in VIP or a champagne room, you can get away with charging hundreds more, but if the guy is clearly an average Joe Blow, you are probably going to have to settle for less. I wouldn’t ever ask for less than $50 personally. Keep in mind that I am only talking about climaxes caused with his pants ON with no genital contact. I am not suggesting you sell extras for $50 (please don’t!!).
He is probably going to want to make a quick escape and sometimes asks you to stop mid song. You have to be quick with quoting him a price. Before he even asks what he owes, get off his lap and quote him your price. If he questions it or says “but I only got 3 dances!” you say, “Your thrill cost extra! That was your tip, I certainly deserve mine!” or something cute and witty like that. Remember not to be mad. Mad doesn’t work in this situation! If he refuses to tip you, you probably just need to fold, unless you think your manager would agree that cumming in your pants warrants a tip. You know your managers, so act accordingly, just don’t act crazy! Remember that your little story is nothing new to club management, so acting like it’s the end of the world won’t get you far.
It’s not the end of the world. If you think it is, this job might be a little rougher than you had originally anticipated. I wish you the best of luck!

Until next time, try not to grind so damned hard, and have a great week!
xx
Chase

Chase

Hi I am Chase Kelly, adult entertainer and founder of SurvivetheClub.com I have been dancing since 2006 and blogging about it since July. Aside from dancing, I enjoy writing, fitness, sociology/psychology, finance, boating, and travel. My goal with this project is to help dancers thrive in this emotionally draining yet financially rewarding industry. I welcome feedback from dancers, customers, club management, employees, and angry girlfriends. Viva la fiesta! Viva la noche!

6 Comments

James Hollywood

about 2 years ago Reply

"and try not to slut shame the girl who doesn’t care and dances for him anyway." This made me laugh in the middle of a bank teller line... "I tried not to slut shame her... but I failed." As far as I can tell, girls at my club seem to take this issue pretty gracefully. However, in the past ive seen a few of them do several (if not all) of the things you say not to do in this article.

Fred Garman

about 2 years ago Reply

I used to go to the clubs just to have that happen! I'd wear sweats, so the tent I was pitching in my lap was pretty obvious. If the girl saw it and focused on it, I would explode every time, within a minute or two. I always tipped those girls more. Girls, I suggest you always try to make it explode, and get the bigger tip. You'll make more $$ that way.

admin

about 2 years ago Reply

OK so realistically, if you know this is going to happen, it is the appropriate thing to do to inform the dancer first, so she can decide if she is comfortable with that. Although we DID sign up for this job, keeping the trauma to a minimum is key. Some of us (i wish more of us) do put our mental health before our money, and it is nice when a customer deems us worthy enough for that respect. It makes it more fun for everyone if there are no surprises! Thanks for the comment, I love feedback!

John

about 2 years ago Reply

I find the expectation of extra tip an interesting concept. If the exceptional performance is worth at least $50 more then what should we do with the sub-standard performance, perhaps not only refuse to pay for the sub-standard service but also receive some type of "fee" for having to not only waste our time but possibly educate the individual for the absolute poor service and the very valuable and inevitable "why" it was poor... this insight (training) has value that we as customers are not necessarily responsible to provide nor did we sign up for it on our "free" time. I think it is a bit dangerous to expect extra for something like this. Of course I am assuming the incident wasn't pre-conceived or manipulated as in Fred's case.. my position is more neutral not manipulative. All in all I agree with your philosophy of fairness, equality, and respect, however, too many times women try to be "smart" this is what gets them into trouble, we also can be "smart".

Blackbeard

about 12 months ago Reply

i am really curious why you think that a man would be "disgusting" if he came while a girl is dancing for him.. ? you explicitly said that "dont tell him even if he is" but why do you think that, you know i never was at a club and paid for a dance like that.. but now i dont think i ever will, cause i know chances are "it"might happen haha and if she would notice i dont want to be that creepy guy

Chase

about 12 months ago Reply

I don't really know how to reply to this other than to say that bodily fluids carry diseases. We are there for fantasy, not the real thing. If a man is going to ejaculate during his dance, I think he should warn the entertainer so she can handle it in the way she feels comfortable and tip her generously if she tolerates it.

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